Telling Your Boyfriend
Discovering you are pregnant can be a shock.
You probably want to avoid dealing with it altogether. But, you
can't do that. Of course, one of the first things on your mind is
telling your boyfriend, or the father of the baby.
You may be feeling a lot of emotions toward
him. You may be angry with him, scared that he might leave you,
or afraid he'll want you to do something you don't want to do. Your
feelings are normal.
Just remember --- No matter what he says
or does, what YOU do is your decision.
No one else can make it for you. But you are not alone. Our counselors
will be happy to work with you to decide how to tell your boyfriend.
Here are some tips to prepare you for the
- Begin the process of confirming that you are pregnant. We can provide you with a free
pregnancy self-test kit and a referral to a health care provider to confirm the results.
- Talking with people you trust can help relieve your anxiety
and start you toward receiving the support you will need.
- Telling a person you trust also gives you the opportunity to
practice telling him.
- Choose a time and a setting when both of you will be in good
moods, relaxed and in a place with minimal distractions.
- Don't play games or try to make him guess the news. Be candid
and inform him that the two of you have gotten pregnant together.
- Avoid setting a negative mood, "I have really bad news
Start with something positive like your appreciation of him or
Be prepared for his first reactions:
- Silence---This is a common
response. Remember when you first saw the positive test. You were
probably speechless. When you first tell him he will probably
act the same way. It doesn't mean he isn't interested or won't
support you. It may just take a day or two before a real conversation
- "I'll support
you with whatever you want to do"---This is also common.
He may not understand the full extent of your needs. But his willingness
to support you is a good sign. Just remember that ultimately this
is your decision. No one can force you to do something you're
not comfortable doing.
- "Is it mine?"---Yes,
this is insensitive, but unfortunately it is also a common response.
It is probably more a shock response versus a true belief about
Our counselors are also available to talk
with your boyfriend to help him understand what you're going through
and how he can support you.
Address your feelings. Hopefully you will
feel supported, but you may feel neglected, abandoned, or betrayed.
No matter whom you choose to talk to, talk to someone. Don't leave
those feelings inside.
We are here for you every step of the way.
Call us at 1-888-LIFE AID for free, confidential and non-judgemental